bad puns bitch

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357,239 notes

ink-and-roses:

ahumblebard:

doxian:

I want a movie about a little girl, aged like 11-12, going through the stuggles of prepubescent girl life, with her entire inner monologue is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.

Shot of disgruntled adorable little girl.

SLJ: I knew that Susie was a backstabbin’ motherfucker, and if anyone was going to ruin my chances of being Miss Sugar Drop Queen, it was that asshole. 

I didn’t know I needed this in my life until now.

This is never not funny

(via run-away-away-with-me)

156,593 notes

Parent:
what does a cow say?
Baby:
"moo!"
Parent:
yes! And what does a sheep say?
Baby:
"baah!"
Parent:
yay! And what does a pig say?
Baby:
*whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"